Family Holidays - Tips for Separated Parents

Florence Webb, Blandy & Blandy

The summer holidays are here, and while they conjure images of sun-soaked beaches and family fun, for separated parents, they can present a unique set of challenges. Adjusting to family holidays after separation can feel unfamiliar and emotionally challenging. That said, there are a few things that separated parents can remember to help ease the process so that you and your children can enjoy a relaxing break.  

Communicate and Plan Together

• Set Expectations Early: Begin talking about holiday plans well in advance. This gives both parents time to consider the available options and make suitable arrangements, which can help everyone to feel more settled.
• Be Specific: Discuss dates, duration, location, accommodation, activities, and who will be responsible for what, whether or not you are all going on holiday together. This leaves less room for any misunderstandings or issues.
• Stay Focused on the Children: When making plans, consider your children’s ages, interests, normal routine and feelings in relation to everything going on. If both parents are going on the holiday, you may have separate rooms or accommodation whist away. Explain this to your children beforehand and share their time fairly between you. Depending on their age(s), try to involve your children in some of the holiday planning. This can help to build excitement and give them a sense of ownership, during what may feel like a very uncertain time.
• Written Agreements: Even if you have an amicable relationship with the other parent, it is a good idea to put agreements in writing (for example, an email or WhatsApp). This can help to avoid any disputes later down the line with both parents having a plan to refer to.
• Flexibility: When juggling many different schedules, it is inevitable that plans will change so be prepared to compromise so that everyone is comfortable with the plans.

 Review Your Court Order or Parenting Plan

• Consent: Double check your Court Order or parenting plan regarding holiday arrangements, travel permissions, and communication protocols.
• Travel Authorisation: If international travel is involved and the other parent has parental responsibility, you will require their written consent to take your children abroad, unless you have a Court Order stipulating otherwise or your children live with you under a ‘Live With Order’. Some countries have very strict requirements, so it is important to carry these documents with you when travelling.
• Passport Control: Check who holds the children’s passports well in advance and ensure they are valid and up to date.

Financial Considerations

• Budgeting: Discuss how costs will be covered, whether one or both parents are going on the holiday. Will it be 50/50, or will one parent cover certain expenses?
• Advance Payments: Agree on who will make deposits and other advance payments and how these will be reimbursed if relevant.
• Unexpected Costs: Have an agreed plan for any unexpected expenses that may arise during the holiday.

Communication During the Holiday

• Maintain Contact: If only one of you is going on the holiday, agree on a reasonable schedule for the non-travelling parent to communicate with your children. This could be a daily video call, exchanging messages, or sending pictures to the non-travelling parent by way of update.
• No Undermining: Both parents should aim to avoid undermining the other parent's authority or plans during the holiday.
• Be kind to one another where you can: Small gestures of understanding—like accommodating a holiday request—can make a big difference in maintaining a peaceful co-parenting relationship.
• Emergencies: Share emergency contact information and details of your itinerary with the other parent.

 Dealing with Challenges

• Disagreements: If disagreements arise, try to resolve them calmly, promptly and away from your children. If direct conversations are difficult, consider using digital co-parenting tools that makes it easier to share information calmly and clearly.
• Court Intervention: If you genuinely cannot agree child arrangements, and it's impacting on your children’s wellbeing or your legal rights, consider mediation or seeking legal advice.
• Focus on the Positives: Remember that holidays are for making happy memories. Try to focus on the positive aspects of the experience for your children and enjoy the time together!

Blandy & Blandy is a leading Thames Valley law firm with offices in Wokingham, Henley-on-Thames and Reading.

For further information or legal advice, please call 0118 951 6888 or visit www.blandy.co.uk.